Back in the 1970s and ‘80s, when I was growing up, it wasn’t called a “social transition” when queer kids borrowed clothes from the opposite sex because nobody assumed they were on a linear path from one sex to another. They were just trying to figure themselves out and make themselves legible through their presentation.
If we reimagine what Brady and their friends are doing as “alignment” rather than “transition,” then whether any of them will require medical intervention depends entirely on what they need to do to align their outsides with their identities. Whether they’re dyeing their hair, changing their names, experimenting with pronouns or trying to modify their secondary sex characteristics, all they’re doing is responding to that voice inside them telling them who they are.
If we look at these actions as what they are — part of a commitment to authenticity — it should alleviate the misplaced fear of social contagion. Just as “social transition” isn’t a first step onto an imaginary one-way bridge, “social contagion” isn’t going to pull anyone across that bridge against their will.
While it’s true that adolescents are hypersensitive to the opinions of their peers and will go to great lengths to prevent exclusion, the share of kids who identify as gender-nonconforming is far too small to override the overwhelming influence of the vast cisgender majority. The pressure to conform comes — as it always has — from the masses. Gender-incongruent kids, who have resisted the pressure to be cisgender and heterosexual — in other words, to be “normal” — form cliques with each other for safety and support. This isn’t social contagion; it’s solidarity.
Our individual evolutions also aren’t as linear as the concept of “detransition” makes them out to be. We don’t magically stop forming at the end of puberty. We continue to evolve. Our genders may fluctuate as we go through the various stages of life, our sexual orientations may change, and our bodies certainly will. We all spend our lives in a constant state of micro-adjustment, realigning ourselves as our circumstances alter and our desires shift. Trans people are not fundamentally different from everyone else; we’ve just been scrutinized so much that people believe we are.
It’s time for everyone to take a leaf out of Dan’s book and start trusting gender-nonconforming kids more. Tap into their joy, listen to how playful they are with language, imagine the words they use as metaphors rather than medical diagnoses. Genuinely supporting all children equally — no matter how they identify — is the kind of social transition we should all be trying to make.
